3.23.16 Had to talk to Master about how i was feeling of late (...more on the LDR aspects)

As we all know, because i've said it a million times and i'm sure it's been read a million times, communication is one of the key things in an LDR.

Sometimes, well no all of the time, it's difficult for me to talk to Master. i never want to upset or disappoint Him and sometimes i feel He could be intimidating. i mean He gets this look on His face!

Yes, i hate the look but it's mostly because i hate His disappointment.

i had something on my mind that i needed to bring up with Him.

i have been feeling less "connected" with Him of late. i think it's because He has added Oliver as my play partner. So i feel as if my relationship with Master is more of a sexual one, than of a mental one.

Okay, are you confused? Lol. i know that i am not "exactly" physical with Master, but in a way i am because He is allowing Oliver as my play partner. Master is the one "organizing", per se, and allowing what is to be done to me. All He has me doing lately are physical things. No, i am in no way complaining, because the physical is fantastic, but i need the more Mental Master sometimes to feel the connection. Does that explain it better?

So i brought it up with Him. We discussed, and i described how i felt as best as i could, and He said He will think of something to help me.

So, yes, i stress over discussing things with Him, but i know in the end it's always the best thing to do. i feel much better.

If you feel you can never communicate your feelings or your thoughts to your Dom about something you might want to reconsider your relationship. Granted, i am nervous, but i always tell Him what i am thinking. If He doesn't know He can't help, the relationship will go sour and eventually end.

Our relationship has changed, as all relationships do. Progression..............

3.22.16 LDR Struggles

i will say that being in an LDR is so much more a mental thing (connection), than anything i've ever been involved in. As a submissive, i was/am so connected with Master that to think of doing something that i know He wouldn't like literally drives me with guilt. Is that just my character? Or is that the submissive in me? A little of both? Not sure?

i know we are all different. Each Master, each submissive, each relationship. We all have our own rules and guidelines. We all mess up, we all learn.

(No i am not saying that i messed up with something. i am just making a statement.)

i think that the demi-sexual in me has been fighting with the regular me. i struggle back and forth mentally with relationships and where i am supposed to be.

Like what if i potentially meet someone and really like them (of course the meet would have to be with Masters approval). Am i supposed to stay Masters single submissive forever? Would He ever allow a relationship? If He did allow a relationship, what kind would it be?

Is anyone else in the same situation?

These are the things that i am thinking about.

i have to think more on the matter.

3.21.16 Pictures from weekend that were approved!

3.20.16 My evening of experiencing a new kink

Oliver was here early. We like to hang. Ya' know aside from him being my play partner, he is a great friend. Cracks me the heck up sometimes too!

i was starving so he asked me where i wanted to go eat. Picked somewhere local. i felt the need to be in a familiar place. Not sure why. Maybe because i was nervous about what would happen later.

Had dinner, and laughs and then back to my place.

Oliver kinda got right to it. He started setting up the ropes immediately. He told me to get prepared. Which, of course, meant taking my clothes off, getting nude, and putting on the heels Master told me to wear.

i stood naked in front of Oliver, in my heels, as he started hanging the rope from the beams in my room. He put the cuffs on my wrists then connected me to the beam above. He then took a silk rope and strapped it onto the beam and then through my pussy. But.....on my pussy was a long piece of velcro. Sharp side rubbing against my pussy if i moved.

So because Master wanted me to be able to self bond myself, Oliver made sure that i could still easily get out of what he tied me in. i could, easily get out, that is.

i stood there, while Oliver watched, for the 15 minutes that Master wanted me to. i succeeded. But did feel the scrape of the velcro on my clit. i liked it.

After the 15 minutes, Oliver started hitting my body with the crop. It felt so so good. i've learned that i do really enjoy the crop. Very much so. It's a very different feeling than being slapped with a hand. The sting is different. Cleaner almost, if that makes any sense. Like crisp.

He then had me in several different positions while using my pussy.

After a small break, he told me to get the cheap table cloth i purchased. After laying it down on the floor, he had me kneel. He handcuffed my wrists behind my back, then cuffed my ankles together. He then connected the wrist cuffs to the ankle cuffs. i was stuck.

He then heated the (appropriate) wax. He poured it on my back and ass, and then my stomach and thighs.

Not sure what to say about the wax. i don't think it's my thing. Even Oliver commented on that. i agree. Granted, we are both inexperienced with the wax, so we should give it another go. After all we do have this box of wax!

Anyway, with the wax on my body, Oliver took the "wand" and made me cum over and over again. i begged him to stop because i couldn't take it anymore. He made me go one more time before finally stopping. i didn't use my safe word because i didn't want to. Had i, he would have stopped immediately.

Afterward, i completely collapsed.

my body is so crazy sore today. When i cum, everything goes tense so my muscles are hurting!

i really enjoyed the evening. Had fun, like Master told me to. i thank Him for allowing this to be done to me. He knows i need it. The physical.

After Master approves the pictures that were taken, i will post.

So......................pictures to follow!

3.19.16 Tonight is the night of trying something new.....wax and self bondage

Oliver just got here.

i'm really looking forward to tonight. i'm also very excited to share it with all of you. i gotta say 151 readers just on yesterdays submission (ha get it) was AWESOME!

i know pictures will follow of the experiences.

i'm not sure what i am looking forward to more????

i always remember being younger and playing with wax in my hand. i wonder if it will feel similar? Will it hurt and then ease into a nice warm feeling? i know i don't want to know where it's going. i think that would mentally prepare the spot. i don't want that. i'll mention it to Oliver at dinner.

Also, the self bondage....a twist in it if i relax. Yikes. But yay! Lol.

Have a kinky night............until tomorrow!

3.18.16 LDR is hard some days and the weekend :)

Being in a Dom/sub LDR is hard. It's a ton of work, and in my opinion, more work on the Doms side. 

i am a lot of work. i know this is true for several reasons. One, Master told me i was, and two, i know it's true. 

i feel that i have been very selfish lately. All i have been doing is talking to Master about what is going on with me and what i need help with. What can Oliver do and not do, etc. Not once have i asked Him if i can be of any use to Him. It's been about me, me, me lately. 

What brought me to this realization was a conversation i had with Master this afternoon. He, as always, asks me if i am okay. i told Him that i was down and we discussed some vanilla stuff briefly. i then mentioned to Him that i knew we were in a lull. He reminded me that He was working on it. i felt like i got smacked in the face. It occurred to me at that moment that i have not asked Him in a long time how He was. i asked. He was not having a good day. How selfish of me not to ask how He has been doing. i told Him i would do anything to take care of Him and make Him happy. i think that He knows that. i asked Him what i could do. You know what He told me? To have fun! 

Is this Man incredible or what? His concern went right back to me! Yea....i'm lucky! 

i hope Master knows how grateful i am for Him and how sorry i feel for being so selfish. i know He's busy and i need to remember that. 

Okay, so the weekend....................YAY! i'm going to have fun. Hey i was told to right? Lol! 

Oliver asked me to pick up some shower curtains. i think they will be used for the wax. Geez i hope so. i hope he's not planning on chopping me up and wrapping me up in the shower curtains and throwing me down the hill! Yikes! Ha! Just kidding. i think i'm good ;)!

i'm not sure what i am looking forward to more. The self bondage with Oliver watching to make sure i'm okay, or the wax play. i'm looking forward to posting the pictures from the weekend though. Very much so. 

In closing, i want to say that i know i am a very lucky submissive. Master cares about my happiness, as does Oliver. Yes, LDR is hard, but very, very worth it. Just remember that it does take tons of communication. It can be the best thing in your life. The best thing you've ever experienced. It has been for me.....................

3.17.16 My butt plug and stuff

Not sure if anyone noticed, but Oliver is now listed on my Fet page. Yes, he's a real person. Just sayin'.

Anyway, i was allowed to cum last night, but wasn't all that thrilling. Sucked actually. Barely came. i used the shower head. Didn't work like it used to. i used to use that all the time. Daily even. Clearly not daily anymore since now i need permission to cum. But i did ask again for tonight, but...

So when i woke this morning i was already horny because of the lack of strength i came the night before and needed/wanted more. While i was getting dressed Master told me that i had to wear my small plug today. The blue glass one. He knows that the immediate insertion will make me hornier. Makes my clit swell. (Still in btw) i also had to wear a loose fitting skirt today because my tattoo is bothering me while wearing pants. Luckily He said i could wear panties. i was nervous.

Here i am driving to work, i get in to my office and one of the male co workers tells me that i have something on my skirt. i knew immediately what it was. It's the lube i used to insert my plug! Oh my! i kiddingly joked that i must have peed myself and ran to the bathroom.

i wiped around the plug to clean off any extra lube that was still hanging around and went to my desk. i had to sit on my leg so i wouldn't touch another part of my skirt.

When Master finally got back from His meeting, i told Him what happened, and He told me to take off my panties. i did it at my desk - ha!

At lunch i asked if i could run out and go buy another pair to wear since mine still had the extra lube on them. He approved. i was nervous leaving because it was really windy out and i didn't want my loose skirt to rise up showing my bare ass and my plug. i held my skirt while i walked to my car, to the store, and back. i put the new panties on in the car.

Feeling much better, but i still have the plug in and i'm not allowed to take it out until i leave work!

Makes me wonder why He's made me wear it today too. As His sub, it's not my place to question and i know that He always has a reason for something. Maybe it's because He's told Oliver that He wants him to use my ass in someway this weekend and it needs to be trained. i haven't had anything in my ass for awhile now. i've missed it.

i know that Oliver has also contacted Master about what is going to be done to me this weekend. i'm excited and nervous, but know that i am in good hands. i'm a very lucky sub.

Talked to a new friend today on Yahoo. Came to me with an interesting story plot and he ran some ideas past me. Good idea i think. i hope he really does write something and it wasn't just some ploy to get me to "play", although if it was, he's pretty smart.

Looking forward. One more hour and the plug can be removed!