i spoke with Master today about having a "relationship" with Oliver. It had to be discussed, because technically i'm already in a relationship with Oliver. Just one that Master controls.
Many things were covered.
Master thinks perhaps someday i will want someone else to control me sexually. i can't argue that point because i may. i don't know.
Here is what has me concerned. Ok, i'm demi, so i'm attracted to Oliver. Granted. But i do worry about us investing all this time in each other and what if in the end it doesn't work out. i'm old for God sake! i hate to waste time in not finding someone i can enjoy my time with. i don't want to be alone forever. Another thing. i can never again be with someone who is vanilla. Oliver is not, clearly. So if i do have some sort of relationship with someone, "they" (hey ya' never know) would have to be a dominant.
On the other hand, it is key that Oliver is aware of Master and is fine with Him having control over me. It does work. So many pros and cons.
i've come to the decision that as of now i cannot give any one but Master sexual control over me. i'm simply just not ready. It isn't time. i enjoy the physical with Master, and at times i really need it. As i will always and forever need Him.
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