When Master and i first were involved with each other, it was hard for me to control how i felt for Him. i could have said that i was "in" love with Him. Even though neither one of us want (nor had we ever) wanted a relationship where there is a "relationship" between us. We both wanted to stay exactly where we were mentally. He is very happy in parts of His vanilla world, as am i. That will never change. So my love for Him grew, but also changed.
Okay so, with all that being said, i'm not sure many know that i am a demi sexual.
Just to clear this up, a demi sexual is someone who cannot have sex with someone unless there is a mental connection.
Clearly i would have no trouble having sex with Master. The mental connection i have with Him is beyond words of explaining.
So anyway, when Master knew i needed something physical added into my life, it was difficult for me. At first it felt like cheating. i was worried that my connection (mental) with Master would change.
Master said it would change only if i allowed it to. i haven't, but i am wondering about another thing.
Being that i am a demi sexual, i am going to grow into connecting with a play partner. We did have a connection prior to playing because otherwise i wouldn't be able to do it. Master knows this as well.
So what if i wanted to start a relationship with a play partner? How would this happen? It would have to be someone who knew about Master, because Master would still be in control of me, and this person would have to be okay with that. Is this even feasible? Is it possible?
Much more to think on regarding this matter. Sometimes getting my thoughts down here is helpful...
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